Snarky
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Marrying me is going to stress you out because I laugh during arguments
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We can't hangout if you're gonna cry when they put us in handcuffs
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I give good head to make up for the fact that I'm not good in the head
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Next time I feel butterflies, I'm going to chug a bottle of tequila to drown them
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I am not a snack, I'm a street taco sometimes spicy and usually falling apart
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I don't date skinny dudes, the wind blew my last one right into someone else's vagina
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You can't gaslight me, I don't even pay attention when my car gaslight comes on
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You give your man butterflies, I give mine High BP-we are not the same
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The only thing another girl has that I'm jealous of is Food Stamps
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Unless I'm sitting on your face, my weight is none of your business
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Cheating on me is easy but finding out why your car won’t start is expensive
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